At one time: the precious reality of our very physical Savior

There are many times when I simply long to be in Jesus' physical presence. I know He's always with me, but oh, for that day when I will see Him as He is! Whenever I let this thought linger, it invariably starts to ache. 

I wonder what it will be like. Once this world has passed away, and we are forever with our Lord, doing and being in His presence, what will the concrete details of our life consist of? Sometimes I try to imagine, but I never get far, because my primary concern always boils down to this thought: 

Will I personally get to walk alongside Jesus? Will He always be right by my side, like He is now, only fully fleshed out and visible? 

The questions make me feel vaguely guilty for even asking. But I can't wrap my head around it. Who am I, that I would ever be able to get close enough to Him, with all the other saints in existence around? 

Before I put much thought into it, I always just sort of imagined an innumerable crowd swarming around Him, and me somewhere at the back, trying to see Him. Or going about whatever work I will be doing for Him, in some distant land, wistfully thinking about Him.

My unglorified, finite mind simply cannot imagine a reality beyond this one, where my God is not only present but visible. A place where I won't ever be wistfully longing, unable to lay my head against my Savior's heart. It seems impossible for me to imagine.

But lately, a few fragments of scripture have been coming together in my mind. They seem to be pointing toward an answer to my hesitant questions. I desperately want to believe that my Father is patiently trying to show me, to coax me to believe what I hope I'm seeing there. 

The first is, strangely, in the Book of Revelation. At the start of chapter 14, there is a brief paragraph about 144,000 people "who had been redeemed from the earth....They follow the Lamb wherever He goes. They were purchased from among mankind and offered as firstfruits to God and the Lamb" (Rev. 14:1-4).

I'm very hesitant to do much interpretation in Revelation, for many reasons. I do, however, try to read it the way I read the rest of the Bible: looking for how God is relating to His chosen people through Christ. And I'm reasonably sure that there have been many more redeemed from the earth than 144,000. The word "firstfruits" is really key here. Studying where it is used throughout the Bible leads me to believe that the number 144,000 is being used as a representative of all believers. 

They follow Him wherever He goes. 

That's the part that's been coming to mind. It seems to speak to this ache that I have, this-- I don't want to call it 'anxiety', but I can't think of a better word-- concern that maybe that reality isn't for me. What if I barely get to see Him in eternity, let alone walk and talk with Him? 

But why would that ever be? Does that sound our Lord to you? It doesn't to me. If the whole Bible is rich with passages declaring God's desire for intense intimacy with His children, why would that desire end the moment we are fully with Him? It won't. That doesn't make sense.

But then, HOW? How will it be that each saint will get to be with our Lord FOREVER? We all crave this personal attention, this companionship, this heart-to-heart love. He literally built it into us, this feeling that we are made for one other, who understands us and loves us more than anyone else. Most of the time, our very physical need seeks fulfillment in other humans, particularly in romance and marriage. But that's only a shadow, not the real thing. 

It's why Jesus said that there will be no marriage in heaven. We are all made for HIM. He is our One. And each of us, as impossible as it feels in this fallen existence, are His one.

Somehow, He wants each of us, all of us, as if we were the only person in the world. Somehow, each one of His people are the shepherd girl in Song of Songs, leaning on her Beloved. Somehow, each of us are the little tribe of Benjamin, the one the Lord loves resting between His shoulders. Somehow, we are all the beloved disciple, leaning on Jesus' breast. 

I don't know how this is possible, but my whole heart cries out that it is somehow the case. 

Another passage has been creeping into my thoughts and lending credence to this belief. I hadn't stopped to consider it until today, and when I did, I had to marvel again at the way the Holy Spirit opens Scripture: a little bit at a time, over an extended period, until He chooses to reveal the bigger picture. The Bible fits together, often in ways I don't expect. Every word speaks, and He often puts passages together in ways I never would think to do. It's so comforting to realize, over and over, that it is the Living Word of God, and that He will never stop speaking through it in new ways, to every part of our lives, in every season, in every trial, circumstance, to every feeling, hope, dream, pain, and joy. 

Anyway, the passage. Whenever I start thinking about wanting to be hand in hand with Jesus, and getting a little discouraged with the limitations of my imagination, lately what comes to mind is the phrase "five hundred at once." I finally looked it up. It's in 1 Corinthians 15. Paul is writing about the resurrection of Christ, with what becomes obvious as the specific goal to talk about our own resurrection and glorification later. He says, "After that, He appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers and sisters at the same time.." (15:6a).

I don't know why, but for some reason, I always just imagined a large crowd of people hanging around and Jesus appearing to them...much the way I keep imagining life after death, struggling to see Him over the heads of the crowd. (And oh, this is a theme throughout the Bible, too. Remember the diminutive Zaccheus? We might have trouble seeing Him, and think that we've missed our chance to be with Him. But He never fails to spot us, recognize us, call us by name, and invite us into His company. Whether we're sitting in a tree, or under it.)

But back to 1 Corinthians and my idea of an impenetrable crowd between me and Jesus That's not what Paul is saying. He wouldn't need to specify that they all saw Him at the same time if they were all together. 

At the same time.

Maybe it's just the way Paul casually throws this statement into a book already dense and rich with theological concepts and truths about our life in Christ that are flashier, take up more of our thoughts, have more to do with our daily lives. Amidst all the other treasure, I missed it, the importance and tenderness of it. The personal, earnest care of our Shepherd, who leaves the ninety-nine to go after the one. And we are all, each of us, somehow, the one. 

He was with each of them at the same moment...wherever they happened to be. At home, like His mother probably was. On the road, like the disciples headed to Emmaus. He was really physically there with all of them, one on one, exactly the way I am hoping to be some day. 

As I let this miracle wash over me, the block in my imagination started to dissipate. I started thinking about the innumerable details that lay behind this small, simple statement. The details of over five hundred individual stories, each one cherished by the teller, told and retold, each one full of personal love and communication between one child of God and his or her Creator, Savior, and Friend. 

How much time passed after Jesus returned to heaven before the saints began to understand what Jesus had done, the magnitude of all these individual visitations? Who first noticed these stories going around and began to tally them up? Did the apostles get everyone together and do a head count, or did they just add a name to their list whenever they came across another one? 

I don't know, but it wouldn't surprise me if some of the five hundred included each one of the people mentioned in the gospels who had some personal encounter with the Lord during His ministry. The woman at the well. The woman with an issue of blood, who crawled through a crowd to touch His robe. The couple at whose wedding He turned water into wine. The leper who turned back to thank Him. Joseph of Arimathea. The group of fellows who lowered their sick friend through a ceiling to get to Him. The many, many people He rescued from demonic possession. 

This is a miracle that, like that of the loaves and fishes, kept giving. Slowly, over a period of time, it kept revealing itself to be greater, more mysterious, more precious than previously realized. Like the Bible. Like Christ. It's still giving.

Why don't we have any of those details? Didn't someone write them down? Probably this is one of those things that caused John to remark, in one of my favorite verses to consider, "And there are also many other things that Jesus did, which if they were written one by one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that would be written." (John 21:25). And they don't really matter, because we ourselves will be supplying those details someday. 

Remember "firstfruits"? One of those passages occurs just a few verses after Paul mentions the five hundred. 1 Corinthians 15:20-23 says, "But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. But each in turn: Christ, the firstfruits; then, when he comes, those who belong to him." 

Those who belong to Him. We belong to Him. Let that thought comfort you today. No one takes better care of His possessions than Jesus. 

At the close of that chapter (1 Cor. 15:48-54), Paul explains that we will be physically changed when Christ returns, whether we are alive or dead at that time. He says that we will "bear the image of the heavenly man." 

John, too, in his first epistle, talks about this very physical transition: "Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is." (1 John 3:2)

This is another one of those passages that I've heard so many times, but never stopped to consider the implications. When we think about the process of sanctification in our lives, "becoming more like Christ," we're primarily thinking about the fruits of the Spirit. As we draw near to God and obey His commandments, we love more deeply, we find our joy in Him, we have peace amid the hardships on earth, we become more patient and gentle and good and meek and disciplined, and so on. 

But we will also, quite literally, be like Him in a physical sense, the glorified Him, which means things like having the ability to pass through locked doors, calm storms, and appear to five hundred people at once. Clearly, the laws of earthly physics do not apply to the kinds of bodies we will have. If He could appear to five hundred of His beloveds at the same time on Earth, how much more so can He be with each of us at once in heaven? I suspect that this doesn't even scratch the surface of what will be possible with Him.

We know that Christ is our heavenly reward, our treasure stored up for us. So maybe it's time to start thinking of heaven as simply the very real, glorious state of walking hand in hand with Jesus, unceasingly, for eternity.

Oh, come quickly, Lord Jesus!

The moment between moments, or do not despise the small things

“For who has despised the day of small things? But these seven eyes of the LORD, which scan the whole earth, will rejoice when they see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.” (Zechariah 4:10)

“The decision is announced by messengers, the holy ones declare the verdict, so that the living may know that the Most High is sovereign over all kingdoms on earth and gives them to anyone he wishes and sets over them the lowliest of people.” (Daniel 4:17)

I’ve been thinking about small things lately.

Life is about to change for the Fitzsimmons here in ol’ Vietnam. While the global pandemic – alongside massive, unusual storms of various consistencies – continues to keep humans and systems in upheaval, our quiet lives have remained mostly that: quiet. Netters is now two, with all the emotional surges and defiance and vocabulary growth that brings. He knows just enough of both English and Vietnamese to be confusing, rebellious, dangerous, and utterly adorable. Chad has returned to work at the school, which is preparing to open next week with masks and social distancing in place. Many of our teachers and their families are still on route, and two weeks of quarantine await them; their classes will begin the year with substitute teachers. Among which I, until recently, planned to be.

But the Lord has had another plan for me, one that I am joyfully embracing. On Tuesday, I will be joining the staff of my church, filling in for a friend who needs to return to the United States for an indeterminate length of time. I could amaze you with the Lord’s providential timing for all involved, but that isn’t what I wanted to talk about today. Suffice to say, He has been very good to our little local family of believers here, and we are all excited to watch Him move in our lives and increase our fellowship.

My life for the past year, since meeting Christ on September 10, 2019, has been rich in study and quiet. My Lord has been my patient and brilliant Teacher, guiding me into His Word, giving me insight and deepening my ability to think carefully and slowly, not only about His teachings, but about the state of the world today. He has slowly but surely established me in His family here, providing for me many, many spiritual mentors and friends. And last week, in a beautifully prepared and poignantly-timed workshop, He revealed some of the spiritual gifts with which He graciously blessed me. My heart is full!

*

“I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing.”
I say of the holy people who are in the land, “They are the nobles ones in whom is all my delight.” (Psalm 16:2-3)

Some time back the Holy Spirit, as He tends to do, put a phrase on my heart and mind, and it has been following me around for a few months. It continues to come up in sermons, in book after book, and in my notes as I look back through them to write this post.

The phrase is “Moment by moment.”

Just like Him to begin seeding my mind with the meditation that I would need going into this new season. My Father knows what I need before I ask Him.

I marvel at the precarious brevity of life here on earth. But in this marveling, I am tempted toward anxiety. How will I have time to drink deeply of the Lord, to learn from Him, to serve Him well as I serve His church, and to be present and loving to my husband and son? I find myself worrying that I will be unable to adjust to this transition, this new season, and that I will fail everyone He has placed in my care. 

I will need to be purposeful, diligent, and conscientious about my time in a way that defies my natural tendencies and abilities.

Defies my natural tendencies and abilities.

This is very much in line with what I am learning about my God. He loves to place His people into situations and positions that are contrary to their strengths, so that we must rely completely and openly on Him for all we need. This glorifies Him! I have no confidence in my abilities to be what He has positioned me to be; it is only in Him and through Him that His purposes will be carried out.

So I take this concern to my Lord, perhaps with a more plaintive tone than I should have, and He reminds me that He is in control. He has chosen this path for me, in part because I have insisted to Him that I wish to submit to His will in all things, and it is His will to equip me “with everything good for doing His will,” for it is God who works in us "to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." (Hebrews 13:21; Philippians 2:13)

Hence, the marvelous providence of His giving me a simple phrase like, “moment by moment” to hold onto. It has become a life-preserver, a fly-fisher's reel, a battle cry.

Through it, He says, “Come back to Me! Ground yourself, again, on the Rock of My Person, My Salvation, My Sovereignty, My Fatherhood.” He says, “This task that you are doing for Me presently is no less important than any other. I have put this one in front of you; worship Me in it, here, now. Ask Me to help you, again, now.”

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10)  

Moment by moment.

He is helping me to train myself, you see, to invite Him into every moment of my day: every decision, thought, conversation, action, no matter how small. He has been urging me to cultivate my awareness of His presence. To realize the miraculous truth: He is my life.

The key to living in constant awareness of the Lord’s presence, moment by moment, I think has something to do with the moment of transition. The moment BETWEEN moments. It’s in that split-second where everything can go wrong, sour, when we can slide out of worship, appreciation, trust in Him, and respond to the new moment, the unexpected stimuli, out of our flesh.

Satan is aware of this. I suspect that this is why there are some days that seem to blindside us over and over again. Broken air conditioner. Flooded floor. Unexpected bill. Injury or illness that requires a doctor’s trip. Relentless transitions that wear away our desire and awareness of God.

Transitions, large or small, expected or abrupt, are crucial.

This is why we must read His Word, meditate on it, as often as we can. We must sacrifice other things in favor of it, reduce our interests to a few. The Word is the most consistent thing that the Holy Spirit will use to counter the world, the flesh, and the devil. It is in the split-second transition between moments that He will bring a word to our minds, so encouraging and sweet and perfectly applicable, that we remember Whose child we are, Who is in control.

And before we know it, we are worshiping again, joyful in crisis, settled in chaos.

This is surrender to God’s will. And here’s another thing: I have reason to believe that this is the power behind the message of the Book of James: be doers of the Word, and not hearers only.

With God, the work and the ‘doing’ of His people is so rarely about them taking the initiative, striving to accomplish things for Him. Rather, the ‘doing’ of the Word throughout the Bible often entails His people stepping aside to watch in awed stillness as God does their doing and fighting for them. Doing for us what we obviously cannot do, so that only He gets the glory.

“Then the nations will know that I am the LORD, declares the Lord GOD, when I show My holiness in you before their eyes.” (Ezekiel 36:23)

The action verbs belong to God!

How much more so now, in the age of grace?

“But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.” (James 1:25)

God has done something, and He calls us to rely upon it. The perfect law that gives freedom is the news that Jesus Christ fulfilled the law on the cross, and He continues to fulfill it in our lives through His shed blood and His glorious resurrection to glory!

Everything we do here on earth is in light of His work, enabled by it, and given meaning in it. He is the context of our lives. He IS life itself! Nothing exists without Him, therefore everything that we do for Him after being awakened to His Truth, no matter how menial, has eternal import in His kingdom!

Let that truth reorganize our priority list.

*

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7)

“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.” (Luke 12:32)

As I have wrestled in prayer about this new season, I gradually have come to a new understanding of how the Lord transforms our desires. So many of my prayers center on me: grant me more faith, more intimacy with You, more wisdom, more power to walk in Your Spirit. And lately, I’ve become aware that the Holy Spirit has been quietly asking me a question: “Why? Why are you asking Me for these things?”

We are supposed to be looking at Jesus and what He has done already, and this looking fills us with the desire to be like Him, to be transformed. He ever wants us to be servants, and to serve in everything as though Christ is the only recipient of our service. To pour ourselves out, as He poured Himself out for us. To follow Him, we must follow His example in sacrificial love. Willingly.

By that, I mean that it must be our will. This is not something that we can make ourselves feel in the heart. Only He can replace our selfishness with true, from the heart self-sacrifice.

The Holy Spirit’s “Why?” wasn’t a rejection of my requests, but a gentle, Socratic nudge for me to think more deeply about my motives. To observe and realize how faithfully He has been answering my prayers, as I have pursued Him over this past year.

To my surprise, I realize that I am, in fact, changing. He has been working in me all this time, in my seemingly self-indulgent studying and solitude. He has made me aware of how I fit into the lives of the people He has placed in my purview. If I am to live for Him, I must live for them.

All along, He has been equipping me for loving action. I long to see what He will do.

Far from resulting in a cessation of my spiritual growth and understanding in my Lord, I am confident that this new season is going to draw me into new heights of intimacy and strength in His Spirit, as He moves me from a life of study and contemplation, to one of practical application of His education, His love, and His gifts for the good of the body of Christ. Everything He has given me, He expects me to use for and give to others: time, money, wisdom, and love.

We must never forget that He is both the Giver and the Gift, the One Who answers, and the Answer.

And so my prayer for this time:

Lord, Father, empty me of self and fill me with Your Holy Spirit - so that I can serve. Equip me, enable me, and energize me to channel all You give me in a way that fills the needs of everyone You put in my life.

*

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)

As I struggle against the knowledge that there will be days ahead that feel so hectic, catapulting helplessly from sleep to wake to work to family to sleep again, I remind myself that I am where God has placed me. Motives are important. The Lord is more concerned with our hearts than anything. If we are catapulting helplessly in His strength and for His glory, then as AW Tozer said, “There won’t be a common, profane deed that you will ever do. The most menial task can become a priestly ministration when the Holy Ghost takes over and Christ becomes your all in all.”

Take a breath – for Him.
Hold your tongue – for Him.
Write a meal plan for the week – for Him.
Get up earlier – for Him.

Small things.

When I think of small things, I think of the millions of details, decisions, thoughts, seconds, interactions, and possibilities that make up one single day. But day by day and detail by detail, these insignificant moments add up to a lifetime, add up to centuries of history, prophecies fulfilled, and divine purposes coming to pass in a spectacular, perfect symphony.

My child is a small thing. So is my faith.

What does childlike faith look like? I think of my toddler son, again realizing the Lord’s perfect wisdom in granting me saving faith at such a crucial point in his development. I see him running to us whenever he has a toy, a question, a boo-boo. He is always looking up at us. It has never crossed his mind that we would not respond to him and give him what he needs.

What does childlike faith sound like? “Dada!”

I don’t know what is in store for us all. My prayer for myself, and for all of us, is that we will accustom ourselves more and more to turning to our Lord in every moment, every transition, from day to night, from meal to work to recreation, from interruption to interruption, from snafu to solution. Let us offer our weakness into His hands in total dependence and willing submission that becomes Spirit-powered obedience.

Only consciously weak souls ever lean hard enough on the Lord to walk straight in His risen power!

“That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10)

Christian, are you like me, small and unimportant? Our God delights to use small things to do His great works. Whatever small things we did in His name today, He can use. The Lord of all the earth has called our lives for Himself. We each have a place in His purposes. -Anonymous

There are no human solutions to the mess that is Earth

Fear. Despair. Worry. Anger.

These are things I am seeing and hearing from people who understand how uncontained COVID is, who look at the economic disparity and complete lack of governance, a health system incapable of protecting its own workers, let alone doing anything more than easing the way into death for as many people as it can.

Selfishness. Rebellion. Violence. Willful ignorance. Pride.

These are things I am seeing and hearing from those who refuse to take the situation seriously, who believe that they can simply will life to return to normal by ignoring common sense, even accusing those attempting to implement even meager measures of containment of all manner of slanderous things, of fear, of tyranny, of political ambition, even satanic influence.

Do you know what is governing both of these sides? SIN. Unchecked, unrepentant sin.

Does that sound old-fashioned? I suppose it is. God says in Jeremiah, “This is what the LORD says: ‘Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.’” (Jeremiah 6:16).

I don’t have any human solutions for you. There aren’t any. The world is where it is because it has forgotten and forsaken God. Aside from a small remnant of people who are faithful to Him (and before you, professing Christian, put yourself in that number, examine yourself, “For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” Matthew 7:14), God has given the world over to go its own way:

“And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.” (Romans 1:28-32).

The LORD God is going to devastate the Earth; He has been warning mankind from the beginning that His patience will come to an end.

“The LORD will roar from on high; He will thunder from His holy dwelling and roar mightily against His land. He will shout like those who tread the grapes, shout against all who live on the earth. The tumult will resound to the ends of the earth, for the LORD will bring charges against the nations; He will bring judgment on all mankind and put the wicked to the sword,’ declares the LORD.

This is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘Look! Disaster is spreading from nation to nation; a mighty storm is rising from the ends of the earth. At that time those slain by the LORD will be everywhere - from one end of the earth to the other. They will not be mourned or gathered up or buried, but will be like dung lying on the ground.” (Jeremiah 25:30-33).


If you can look at the world today and still say with confidence that humanity is going to figure things out on its own, stabilize governments and economies, provide justice for the oppressed, and live in peace, then you are deluded. And if you continue to think that way until your death, you are cursed:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the LORD...all who forsake You will be put to shame. Those who turn away from You will be written in the dust because they have forsaken the LORD, the spring of living water.” (Jeremiah 17:5, 13)

Whether you are frightened of COVID or not, be frightened of this! Nothing happens in this world without God’s knowledge or ordination. May the LORD open your eyes and your heart to His truth. He has infinite love, yes. He created love! He IS love. But you need to know God’s definition of love and His conditions for pouring it out:

“Jesus stood up and called out in a loud voice, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said: ‘Streams of living water will flow from within him.’” He was speaking about the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were later to receive.” (John :37-39)

Don’t you see the ultimatum put before mankind?

Do you know God’s definition of wickedness? You can find it all throughout the Bible. Sometimes you have to tease it out of the context by what it is in opposition to.

In Psalm 9-10, we see two kinds of people in the world: those who seek and trust God, and those who do not. That is the only true division of mankind, no matter what your positions on race, gender, or class. Your opinion does not matter to God; only God’s opinion matters to God, and He has given it to us in the Bible.

Don’t you see the immensity of this gift? He didn’t have to say anything to us! He could have destroyed us all without warning! He is GOD. But instead, He shows us what He desires from us.

A few passages that describe God’s view of wickedness:

“The wicked go down to the realm of the dead, all the nations that forget God.” (Psalm 9:17) [NOTE: ‘nations’ is often used to describe a large number of people; it doesn’t necessarily mean individual countries, rather, all those within the earth who ‘forget God’.]

"In his arrogance the wicked man hunts down the weak, who are caught in the schemes he devises.

He boasts about the cravings of his heart; he blesses the greedy and reviles the Lord.

In his pride the wicked man does not seek Him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.

His ways are always prosperous; Your laws are rejected by him; he sneers at all his enemies.

He says to himself, “Nothing will ever shake me.” He swears, “No one will ever do me harm.”

His mouth is full of lies and threats; trouble and evil are under his tongue.

He lies in wait near the villages; from ambush he murders the innocent. His eyes watch in secret for his victims; like a lion in cover he lies in wait. He lies in wait to catch the helpless; he catches the helpless and drags them off in his net.

His victims are crushed, they collapse; they fall under his strength.

He says to himself, “God will never notice; he covers his face and never sees.” (Psalm 10:2-11)

This is the most extreme arrogance: “I don’t need God. Furthermore, God doesn’t see what I do, He doesn’t care what I do, and even if He did, He couldn’t stop me.”

This is the attitude that will bring down the wrath of God onto your head. And it is, by and large, the most prevalent attitude in the world today. Because the God of the Bible is the true God, the only God, the Creator of the universe. And He has clearly stated that the only way to receive His love and mercy is to repent, confess your sin, proclaim Jesus Christ as Lord of all, and to entrust your entire being - body, mind, heart and soul - to Him:

“...because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” (Romans 10:9-11).

There are no guarantees in a world that is falling apart from plague, natural disasters, resource shortages, foolish leaders, avarice, war.. Your wealth, if you have it, won’t save you. Your ethnicity won’t save you. Your political beliefs don’t guarantee you safety. Your geolocation won’t save you. Your own brain can’t save you. Medicine can’t save you. Your education, your job.…

Whatever it is that you are trusting in is subject to destruction at any moment.

And it has always been that way.

The world has always been falling apart, but we are living in a unique time in which we can all see it in real time. We all have access to an astounding wealth of information from all over the world, and the big picture that forms when we take in all of the information together is not good.

Our global awareness serves God, in that we all have access to His warning bell.

To reject His salvation in the face of all this is the height of arrogance.

And your arrogance, left unrepented, is going to be the cause of your destruction. 

Isn’t it strange that in the very time in which anyone with access to a digital device can take in a library’s worth of data at a glance, in this same time we have come, as a species, into a profound distrust of information? Everything has become suspect as a sort of relative truth:

Up is now down; right is now wrong; black is now white; sick is now healthy; freedom is now slavery; love is now hate; sin is now law.

The only thing that has not changed and cannot change is the Word of God.

He is the only place you can safely put your trust:

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8)

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” (James 1:17)

“God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?” (Numbers 23:19) 

“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.” (Isaiah 40:8) 

“Of old you laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you will remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away, but you are the same, and your years have no end.” (Psalm 102:25-27)

“If we are faithless, He remains faithful— for He cannot deny Himself.” (2 Timothy 2:13)

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.” (Isaiah 40:28) 

Don’t you see? I pray to God that you will see! Only He can open your eyes to His truth. Even after ten horrific plagues, the Pharoah of Egypt in the time of Moses refused to repent, and he and his army drowned in the Red Sea! If this hasn’t become clear to you in the past six months, will it ever be clear to you? How much more will it take for you to realize

YOU. CANNOT. SAVE. YOURSELF.

The worst bit is that, no matter how bad things become here on planet Earth, this life will be the best thing that ever happens to you - all you have to look forward to.

Because if you die without having reconciled to God, things will get infinitely WORSE. You will be cut off from God, the source of all love and light.

You will be alone, in torment, for eternity.

What more do you have to lose before you consider the fact that GOD is the missing piece to this horrible puzzle?

Abandon your pride! Do something old-fashioned: fall on your knees before God, before Christ, who loves you, who willingly became human, died in torment, and bore the weight of every sin ever committed so that you would have the opportunity to be made righteous through His blood. REPENT of your sin - acknowledge that you cannot be good in the sight of God, that you are powerless, that you need Him and desire Him to secure your life in Him.

“‘Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.’” (Jeremiah 6:16).

ASK, “Where is the good way?”

“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life.

No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)

Psalm 9:10 says, “Those who know Your name trust in You, for You, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek You.”

Psalm 9:18 “But God will never forget the needy; the hope of the afflicted will never perish.”

The Bible often talks about the poor and needy, and at times, it is physical destitution being discussed. But even then, there is a deeper meaning that only becomes clear when you have a proper understanding of what God considers true neediness - what humanity is utterly lacking: HIMSELF.

To God, all people are born utterly impoverished, because they lack His Spirit. When someone puts their trust in Him, in Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, He unites His Spirit with theirs, they become heirs of eternal life and unimaginable riches.

Since we are all equally needy in God’s eyes, when scriptures specify the ‘needy’, they are talking about people who acknowledge this lack in themselves before God. This is called humility, and it is in opposition to pride.

Those whom God protects and saves are those who humble themselves and throw themselves on God’s mercy. They do not think that they can save themselves; they do not think that a system can save them, or science, or anything else they can think of. They repent of ever living without any regard for God. God allows them to see that they are afflicted with this deadly plague of sin, and they commit themselves to God’s mercy.

This is the meaning of Psalm 10:14: “But You, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; You consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to You; You are the helper of the fatherless.”

Whatever befalls them on Earth, then, becomes only a momentary suffering in light of the joys of eternity. This frees those of us who put faith in God to lay aside worry and fear and commit to do God’s will. Even if we get sick and die, lose family and friends, are killed in an untimely fashion, whether by violence or disaster or starvation, death is the end of our sorrow. In the moment of our death, we are ushered into FOREVER with the LORD.

Don’t you want to be at peace in the middle of this chaos? Don’t wait for your government or a revolution or a vaccine or a justice movement. Come meet the only One who can and will save you! His mercy is not only for those who can pay - no human can.

The Lord Jesus has paid your debt in full; all you need to do is repent and trust in Christ's blood, and He will make you a child of God, an heir to all He is.

"Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price." (Isaiah 55:1)

"The Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let the one who hears say, “Come!” Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life." (Revelation 22:17)

“At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do. All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Do you not hear how earnestly He is calling you? 

Father, by the power of Your Spirit and in the name of Your Son Jesus Christ, I pray that You will open the eyes of their hearts to Your Truth. Save them, Lord, and glorify Your name! For just as rain and snow fall from heaven and do not return without watering the earth, making it bud and sprout, and providing seed to sow and food to eat, so Your word that proceeds from Your mouth will not return to You empty, but it will accomplish what You please, and it will prosper where You send it.

What IS our first responsibility as Christians? Abide in the Word.

Every person who has a true relationship with Christ bears the responsibility to rightly divide the Word. "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth." (2 Timothy 2:15). This is an individual responsibility that I fear many of us are failing to live. This is not one of those things that God will do for us no matter what. In order for us to get inside the Word, and for the Word to get inside of us, we are required to show up.

So what exactly does it entail?

For starters, it means daily, extensive reading of the Word, ideally first thing in the morning, and ideally from both Old and New Testaments. It means going to God in prayer in order to connect our reading with prayer: before, during, after. Ask the Holy Spirit to open the eyes of our hearts to His truth, to the preciousness of it, to the practical application for our lives. We should aim to make it a daily practice to ask for the wisdom to understand every facet of what we are reading. 

It means actively remaining conscious of the presence of God throughout the day. We are the temple. Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, is present with us ALL DAY. He is there when we are posting on social media. He is there for our dinner-making. He is with us in our childcare. Work. Our mindless interactions.

As we learn from studying Proverbs, the Word does not change, but the context of our application of it to our lives varies wildly, even from one moment to the next. This is not a textbook to memorize, but the Living Word of God. Context matters. If you are not attuned to His presence and voice, you will misapply scripture, which can be damaging to your faith and to your witness to unbelievers. 

*This is VERY SERIOUS.* 

The only way to let the Word work in us practically is to meditate on what we read. We must chew on it all day, whenever we get the opportunity. This is how the Holy Spirit uses the Word to speak to us. As Jesus said He would, He brings Jesus' words to our minds. "But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you." (John 14:26)

We need to be paying attention, straining our hearts, eyes, and ears for the Spirit's small voice. There have been many messages that I would have missed if I hadn't been actively praying NOT to miss them, in concert with other prayer requests for the day.

They come in surprising packages, often in things seemingly unrelated to the question, concern, or passage you ask Him about. He may send a confirmation in another form, or two, if He really wants to make sure we get the point. Sometimes He will wake us up at 3 in the morning. He likes to be the only One talking. He wants our full attention. 

But if we are not abiding in the Word (John 15) as instructed, we are not going to hear much from God. He is relational, and He wants to increase our wisdom, to quicken our lives with His. There is no greater feeling than realizing God is conversing with us.

It is a humbling realization, because with it comes the thought that we do not deserve this attention. We don't. Christ in us, however, does. It is here where sanctification begins in earnest. Here is where He starts to make us like Him.

Attending church once a week is not going to cut it. Fellowship with our fellow believers, the sermon, worship, the offering, communion: these are all additional ways the Lord speaks and blesses His people. Additional. The first thing, the most important, is the Word.

We may still be confused and upset by things we encounter in daily life, social media, news, etc, but if we are abiding in the Word daily, we have put our armor on and kept the channel free of static. We have only to submit these concerns to God and wait for Him to give us clarity. He most certainly will, because it is His will that we His people be thoughtful, wise, shrewd, and innocent in our dealings with the world and with each other. Prayers for wisdom are GUARANTEED to be answered in the affirmative: 

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." (James 1:5)

WISDOM WILL BE GIVEN TO US. PERIOD. That is one of the prayers we can take to the BANK. That is one we need to be praying DAILY. Hourly. To pray without ceasing, as many have noted, is not forgoing everything else while we pray, but including prayer, including our God, in everything we do. 

Want to know another one? "Father, glorify Your name!" (John 12:28). He will ALWAYS do that. Make this one of your regular prayers, and you will be pleasantly surprised - awestruck even - by the way He answers this prayer in your life.

These things take time. We live our lives out on Earth's timeline, not God's: "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." (2 Peter 3:8). Sanctification is mostly slow work, and that's on purpose. But we have to show up. We have to WANT to be with Him.

Sometimes that is only possible by praying for the desire to want to be with Him. It's disgraceful but true. And He is gracious, and grants that request when we're serious.

All of this to say: the Church is sick. We've allowed the world to sap us of our strength in Christ.

The Body of Christ is sick because local churches are sick because individual Christians are sick. We're anemic from starving ourselves of the Word in favor of literally anything else. The only cure is individual and corporate repentance and an immediate, robust diet of the Bread of Life and Living Water.

When the church is again full of Biblically-literate, praying Christians in daily communion with Christ, things will start to change. The world will begin to see that we are, in fact, different. This is how salt gets salty again; this is how light shines.

To go back to an earlier point, Word reading should be much meatier than a light devotional. Here are a few easy ways to dig in: 

*Get a study Bible.
*Read multiple translations, particularly of verses or passages that puzzle you.
*Look up cross-references in whatever passage you are reading.
*Look up words in their original languages, then follow their usage through the Bible (use an interlinear dictionary, like Strong's). 

Don't forget to take context (passage context, historical context, etc.) into consideration when you're following the use of an individual word. 

*Read inclusively - that is, remember the simultaneous contexts: Historical context is important, especially in the Old Testament, but don't forget that the Bible from start to finish is about, points to, and glorifies Jesus. He is the central figure of all Scripture and history.
*Look up where the NT quotes OT. 

*If you're going to read the prophets, use a reliable commentary. Matthew Henry is well known for his exhaustive research and exposition. Alexander Maclaren is another incredible resource.
*Take notes. Underline and highlight your Bible. Write the cross-references you discover in the margins. This will begin to show you how interconnected the Bible is, which strengthens faith in the infallibility and divinity of the Author.

This is a serious business. This is what equips us for Jesus' mission, which He gave to all of us. This is our main priority in life, because apart from Jesus, apart from the Word, we can do nothing. (John 15:5)

Studylight is extraordinarily helpful as a one-stop Bible tool where you can do all the things I suggested. And it's free.

The Gospel Coalition has a fantastic podcast called Help Me Teach the Bible, which is a series of interviews. I think there is one for each book of the Bible. There is no better way to learn something than to learn how to teach it from other solid, vetted teachers. 

There are many, many tools available to help you read more deeply, but ultimately, we each have the Holy Spirit - our Guide, our Advocate, our Helper from Jesus, and He will give you all the insight you need, as you seek to become not only a "Christian" but an enraptured, serious pursuer of God's truth. He is delighted with earnest seekers of His wisdom, and He is a kind, witty, and devoted Teacher. It occurs to me that we are sometimes fuzzy on Who the Holy Spirit is in a personal sense, beyond His role in awakening us to, and sealing us in, Christ. Get to know Him: the only way to do that is to devour the Word. 

Satan's battle lines are well-armored, the ranks are full, and the generals are strategizing. Can you even find your weapons? Get yourself some bread and put on your armor. 

Get. Your. Word. On.

The responsibility of the universe is not on your shoulders, but on His

*First note: I am still learning. I'm praying that God will direct my thoughts and words and actions to address current needs according to the Gospel. This post is not intended to be a final exposition, but the continuation of a dialogue that began when God awakened me to the truth of Jesus Christ. So far it seems like I'm mostly talking to myself and to God, in an empty room, but who knows: maybe someone will stumble onto something here that will help them. I started this blog as a way for me to process publicly the changes that the Lord is enacting on my life and heart, in a way that I hope brings honor to Him and enables me to work out in action what He is working within me. I pray that as I learn and share, He will draw me and others closer to Him. My aim, when I post about events and situations that are not strictly concerning my own immediate daily life, is to apply the Bible roundly, inclusively, and in the spirit of the law - that is, what the whole Bible brings to bear on an issue, not one chosen verse. I will do my best to address context when I quote verses. Again, still learning.

(For an excellent, theologically rich exposition on the spirit vs the letter of the law, see http://www.ecclesia.org/truth/letter.html).

That said...

How do we process what we are seeing in the world today? Looking through the lens God has given us, which is His Word, we are getting a naked look at pure evil in full, chaotic effect: the true heart that lies within every human being (Jeremiah 17:9), unveiled. This is what we are (Romans 3:10-11). This pandemonium that has broken out, particularly in the US (which I say in light of the powderkeg of racial oppression, police injustice, and rampant destruction that has recently exploded)...this is a pointed expression of what God sees in us even when we are acting well-behaved and loving. All humanity's work trying to right the wrongs in this world, which are too many to mention all at once without giving way to despair, is as filthy rags in the sight of God (Isaiah 64:6), when this work is done outside of the Savior.

It seems to me that God has given this country over to its depravity SO THAT (my favorite Paul construction) we can see clearly WHO WE ARE underneath all our social constructions and posturing and fancy woke vocabulary.

There IS good news. Jesus has already paid for this evil and madness, which is so deserving of judgment, with His life. He stepped in front of God's pure and holy justice-filled anger and absorbed it all. In the death of Christ, the sinless, perfect, most loving Person ever to walk the Earth, who was and is God Himself, who has always deserved only the highest praise and glory and worship, but who instead took on Himself the torment of being made sin, suffering, and dying for it...in this was all the justice needed in the world. He paid for every crime - white collar, blue collar, murder, racism, theft, pride, greed, defilement - as if it were His own. And that includes everything that has happened in the past few days.

Even those who have committed horrifying acts of violence and injustice and have helped keep ablaze the hatreds of oppression are invited to take shelter in His saving grace - they need only repent and trust in Christ alone to cover the blackness of their sins. And the charges against them are dropped. Same goes for anyone who has only thought murderous thoughts against someone on 'the other side' - which, as anyone who has heard Jesus speak on this, is the same as committing the murder. (Matt. 5:21-22). THE SAME! Really, that ought to stop us in our tracks way more than it does.

Only those who die unrepentant, rejecting Christ's sacrifice, will pay again for these crimes and bear the full brunt of God's wrath. NEEDLESSLY.

Where then does that leave us? We watch in horror as the world grows visibly darker and more violent, long-hidden or ignored evils are boldly and nakedly enacted, flaunting justice, and we long to do something useful, affect change somehow. But of ourselves, we are powerless. We feel that powerlessness much more often than we (humans) admit to it, in public, let alone to ourselves as we lie awake at night. For the darkness of man is not only outside of us, but inside, and will the dark fight the dark successfully? If two shadows face off in a place with no light, what is to distinguish the one from the other?

And the darkness within us is compounded and spurred into ever greater evils by the great deceiver, the father of lies, Satan himself, who rejoices to see not only thousands upon thousands of Christless humans pour over the abyss, but to see Christians hampered and mired into ineffectiveness as we try to use his own weapons against him, tricked out of using the supernatural armor and sword that our precious Captain has fitted us with.

The world looks on these weapons and scoffs. The truth is that they are far more powerful against evil and darkness than any social justice activities, if those activities lack their holy influence.

So what then? Are we to rant and rage and argue and march and get into fights?

As I ponder the real possibility that I could have missed a message somewhere in the Bible, I think on the Jewish expectation that the Messiah would appear as a great military leader, a social justice warrior who would sweep the oppressing Roman forces out of Judea and set up a Kingdom where they could worship God unhindered. I think of their crushing disappointment when Jesus resisted this course of action. That disappointment turned into rage, goaded into a mob who cried out for His blood, by none other than their religious leaders, who of all things chose to couple with the Roman oppressors to rid themselves of Jesus and His countercultural, upsetting teachings.

Thankfully, profoundly, mysteriously, and tellingly, the shedding of His own blood is precisely what Jesus arrived on the scene to do.

Make no mistake: He IS the great conqueror they were looking for, and He will rid the world of all oppression and usher in the Kingdom of God. But because He is a God of mercy as well as a God of justice, He paid for sin first, making a way for us to be reconciled to God. Otherwise, none of us would be allowed to enter. It would be a Kingdom without anyone living in it who wasn't God. And He wants us there:

“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world. O righteous Father, even though the world does not know you, I know you, and these know that you have sent me. I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.” (John 17:20-26)

We are still in the world, but we are not of it. We have been given a mission by the One who bought us with His blood. We need to remember it. It is a mission with a single point, but with broad parameters.

The mission is: “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature." (Mark 16:15) 
"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:19-20) 

The parameters are: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 27:37-40).

How do we love our neighbors, who sometimes look very much like our enemies, and include the oppressed and the oppressor, the peaceful protester, the rioter and the looter, the politician and the police officer, the anti-vaxxer and the neoliberal?

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” (Matthew 5:43-47)

How are we to do this? On our own power and drive and will? What does the Lord say?

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15:5)

The world will do all it can to distract us from the fact that our only ability and strength lies in our union with the Savior, a gift from Him and thus nothing we can boast of. Stay close to Him by reading His words and speaking to Him in prayer. Be honest. You want to rant and rage and protest? Do it to Him - He will listen, and He will search your heart, and He will tell you how to be and act and speak.

What He directs you to do may look very different from what He is directing someone else to do. You have a unique relationship with Him, and He has a unique job for you to do. You can't find His will for your life by doing what everyone else is doing. He will show you ways to be that run counter to your own instincts and desires, but if you listen to Him, He will guide you and train you to be salt and light in this insane, evil world.

Make no mistake: what He directs you to do will NOT contradict the Bible. You may make excuses for yourself, but that will only harm yourself and others, both now and in eternity. If you are honestly seeking His will for your life, He will give you something to do and say, and it will only benefit those around you, even if they don't see it that way. It will more likely include costly, personal sacrifice, because He asks us to follow Him, and His example ends on a cross. Yes, we will be resurrected also following His example, but insofar as our ability to work for our neighbors here on Earth, we have until death.

If you heed this, you will be misunderstood, mocked and reviled. So was Christ. You will be slandered, maybe as a bigot, or maybe an out-of-touch simpleton. You will lose friends and gain a bad reputation. Worse than this may happen to you.

To that, Jesus says, "Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.” (John 15:20). 
"Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you." (Matthew 5:10-12)

To the world, your life will appear to be a shame and a waste. They will not see the wrongs righted and blessings poured out that He will work through your prayers, through your forbearance, through your meekness, through your steadfast faith and clinging to the truth. Maybe you won't see, either. But our Lord does.

It is easy to get worn down and mixed up. There is so much information, so many things going wrong, and more than any other time, we have access to all of it. Amazingly, it was not always possible to know about every calamity that happens everywhere in the world minutes after it happens. If you attempt to right every wrong, or even to address every wrong, as though its righting depends upon you acknowledging its existence and its wrongness, you will have taken your eyes away from the face of our Savior, and therefore sapped of all the power you have in Him.

Charles Spurgeon, who was born in 1834, warned against us thinking too much of ourselves and our abilities:

"Many servants of God are made to feel their weakness in another way: by an oppressive sense of responsibility...I hope you will always feel your responsibility before God; but do not carry the feeling too far. We may feel our responsibility so deeply that we may become unable to sustain it; it may cripple our joy, and make slaves of us. Do not take an exaggerated view of what the Lord expects of you. He will not blame you for not doing that which is beyond your mental power or physical strength. You are required to be faithful, but you are not bound to be successful. You are to teach, but you cannot compel people to learn. You are to make things plain, but you cannot give carnal men an understanding of spiritual things. We are not the Father, nor the Savior, nor the Comforter of the Church. We cannot take the responsibility of the universe upon our shoulders. While vexing ourselves with fancied obligations, we may overlook our real burdens."

It's good to be angry about injustice, which means there is a lot to be angry about. But we're told to be angry without letting that anger cause us to sin. The same armor and weapons God gave us are also there to teach us how to do that. The Holy Spirit will convict anyone who earnestly seeks God's will. There is a reason that the Body of Christ is made up of many people; we aren't all called to the same ministries; there are so many things that need to be addressed in this world. We can't be everything to everyone all at once...even if the world insists that we must. The only way to know where we are supposed to plug in is to stay close to the Lord. 

Don't despair. You will see justice done, and you will have played a role in it, if you hold onto Him. Abide in His Word, and the Holy Spirit will work to make you like Him, and He will "equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ" (Hebrews 13:21). 

Time to lament

In December, as a new Christian, God was still speaking with me in very obvious ways, I gather, because He wanted me not to miss His messages. We were on our first in-country vacation as a family, and all three of us had colds. We were cranky and restless, and I was having a hard time getting alone for prayer and Bible study. I don't remember what I was reading at the time, but I remember we were on an endless family walk with the toddler trying to find the way onto the beach in Hoi An, when I suddenly had a flood of thoughts.

Something from my pleading and reading coalesced. As I realized that, as the Lord's people, we have been specifically called to mourn. We live in a world devastated by sin, where the majority of humans do not know God and never will, until it is too late.

At the time, I was thinking only of my own responsibilities, my own calling, but now I see that we are not called to walk alone. This is for the Body of Christ.

Here are some of my notes from that revelatory day in December:

One of God's mourners. I think that is part of what He is calling me to be, to do. One of His earliest manifestations to me, in me, was weeping. It's something I do often and eagerly, sometimes without knowing why. Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted. Calls to me. Weeping with God with the Man of sorrows, for His grief towards the oppressed and lost.  This feels like a calling. Getting closer. What does this look like practically?

A way to stay humble, a way into God's heart, to effective prayer. https://thedisciplemaker.org/weeping-with-god/

"Call for the wailing women to come; send for thost skillful of them. Let them come quickly and wail over us till our eyes overflow with tears and water streams from our eyelids…

Now you women hear the word of the Lord; open your ears to the words of His mouth...teach one another a lament. death has climbed in through our windows and has entered our fortresses; it has removed the children from the streets and the young men from the public squares." (Jeremiah 9:17-21)

This strange, tension-filled paradox: the One who causes me to weep, the One I weep with, is my source of Joy.

I didn't know in December what was about to settle over the globe in just a month. All I knew is that a heaviness settled over me, and I wept. It was such an unusual grief. At the time it seemed to be connected to nothing. I was happier than I'd ever been, since meeting Jesus in September. But the grief was real. It was then He began teaching me something about holy emotion, about redeemed emotions. My relationship to my emotions has never been healthy. It was a necessary lesson. At the time I felt absurd.

But as with so many of His lessons, He taught it months before the reason would become clear. When I remembered in March, I thought that He had merely been foreshadowing the toll the virus would take. I had forgotten the lesson again, actually, until yesterday. But as I sat, shaking my head over the horrors unfolding in the US, the virus that many seem to have forgotten and is still killing indiscriminately, aided by discrimination, the pain and rage and exhaustion of our black citizens, the escalation of mindless hate and violence, of rioting and destruction, of the murderous abuse of authority, surging all over the country, injustice piled on injustice, with my heart pounding at my own inability and at the wretched iniquity, I remembered.

I read something the other day about the need for the Body of Christ to remember how to lament, to plead on behalf of God's people, those who know Him already and all those yet to be awakened to Jesus' truth. To remember the penitent, intercessory prayers of Moses, of David, of Ezra and Nehemiah, of Jeremiah, of Paul. Yes. This is the call of God for us today, for this is no passing phase. We have entered a season of violence and death that I do not think will stop escalating, nor will it end, until the Lord returns.

Humanity was built to search for justice, but there is no true justice to be found outside of the Lord. And unfortunately, on Earth, we are subject to time, and our needs and desires don't usually mesh with His timing. He is in control, and He will enact justice, because He created it. He promised: "Vengeance is Mine," He said.

“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19). “Vengeance is mine, and recompense, for the time when their foot shall slip; For the day of their calamity is at hand, and their doom comes swiftly.’” (Deuteronomy 32:35).

No, we are not to take justice into our own hands. The Lord has not placed that burden on our shoulders, and that should cause us to heave a sigh of relief. How can we sin-corrupted creatures even begin to think that we can enact justice? Pride causes us to think we can, and the world insists that we must. The world will be enraged if we resist the temptation, but we must listen to His voice and no one else's. God will move on our behalf when we humble ourselves before Him, broken-hearted and contrite, in full awareness of our complete inability to do anything good.

For those of us crying out, “How then can I help, here and now, while I wait for You to act, Lord?” there is a glorious answer.

He always intended to include us in His justice. He didn't have to; He wanted to. There is a special joy He has reserved for those who bend to His will, do things His way. We will have the pleasure of watching Him resolve all things in perfect justice, and have the added glory of having played a role in it. Watching your team win the championship is fun; playing in the championship *game on the winning team is exhilarating. The Lord intends this exhilaration for us.

The tools He gave us are not defiance and revolt, but prayer and lament. Blessed are they who mourn, for they will be comforted. Weep with those who weep.

We have very little influence on the planet as individuals. But there is one very powerful thing we all have in our arsenals - we who know Him. We have access to the One Who answers prayer - to the One Who is the Answer to all prayers.

Break our hearts again, Lord, as You did when You awakened us to Your truth. Show us how to mourn, how to lament, how to exhort and comfort the oppressed with the only comfort that will satisfy: Yours. Humble us with the knowledge of our complete inability without You; drive us to plead for Your justice. How long, Lord, will You hide Your face?

You are the Giver, but more importantly, You are the Gift. When we ask in Your name, You are what we receive. You are the Answerer of prayer and the Answer, the Deliverer, and the One we are delivered from, for, and to.

Give us the humility and strength we need to be the broken-hearted followers of the Prince of Peace.

*A poor analogy, because this world is no game, but a deadly battle with stakes that are nothing less than the eternal futures of every human on the planet.